The past few weeks have been busy. But really great. I have seen how my influence in my actions have affected my kids.

I was at work and received a call from the principle from my son’s school. It went like this:

 Hi this is the principle of **Elementary school and I have your son ** in my office. But I will let him tell you why he is here.”

She said this in a stern voice. My heart went to my throat.

He got on the phone and said, “Mommy I got sent to the principal.”

I asked why.

Finally all laughed and i was told that he was in the office for turning in $20 he found.

 

My kids have learned. They have seen me have fun with this. And in the past few weeks yes I have continued. My daughter saw me give money to someone I didn’t know to catch a bus, I gave my place in line, we as a family donated clothes, naming things in particular in the begining was important but it all meshes together when you incorporate it into your lives, and that is what this experiment has evolved into. Something I don’t log about just become part of. When you start it becomes part of who you are.

Almost the end.

Will I continue recording? I doubt it. As this has evolved the doing has become more a part of my life than the recording. I haven’t decided how this will evolve but I will figure it out.

Technorati Tags: helping others, giving, random acts of kindess

 I have been absent and I feel I should write about it. This is some rambling…but I need to say it

I haven’t stopped first of all, I stopped right at Kindness Week and had a great time doing something special each day. I have continued practicing random acts of kindness, sending out cards, leaving my little kindness cards in books, leaving change all of the fun things… (even found new ideas just haven’t posted them)

What happened is more than one thing. When I started this board, I didn’t have my three children living with me. As I said for anyone that read the about me part of this site, I am by no means an angel. The angel part came due to the events that transpired to inspire me to create this site. So no I did not have my kids. I have since, had my children come live with me, and that is a blessing beyond all belief. With it comes hours devoted to them, schoolwork, activities and countless things which consumes much of the time I had to sit down and devote to the board before. Add in the new job… and time which I once had to look up kindness stories, surf the web for new information, and post daily just diminished. So my time being consumed by other resources has definitely had its impact on my devoting time to this site.

Another thing which affected me, which I didn’t want to admit, but looking at the timeline for how my posts and attention suddenly stopped was that someone made some comments to me about my site and myself. I really don’t know the person, but I still took the comments personally. I thought I had brushed them off and didn’t let them affect me but obviously I had, for since they were spoken… I suddenly stopped posting..at least about myself. As I said before, I am no angel. This site came about I guess one would say in a period of growth and learning about myself. It came after I had come in touch with myself after some really tough times in life some do to my own actions, some due to others. I can honestly look back at my life and see where I made mistakes, but I have still always been someone who has tried to do good for others, and bring smiles to people’s faces, and genuinely be a good person. I think few people who have known me personally would say anything otherwise. But yes I have made my mistakes. And because I am such a person, recognizing those I think I am one that beats myself up about my mistakes more than anyone. But I moved on and yes this site evolved along the way. So someone made some comments to me, honestly someone that doesn’t know me personally but knows of me. I was called a hypocrite, and comments were made that anyone who looked at my site would definitely think I was insane. I write of this not to say they were wrong or right, but that it is obvious that I do get affected by words of others even when I do not agree. I began to question myself. I began to doubt myself.

Here I was doing something I had developed a passion for, and a stranger’s words suddenly put me to a halt. It didn’t stop me doing what I loved doing as far as practicing random acts of kindness, but it did put me to a halt about posting personally on this site. I had to question myself. Was it because I suddenly did feel like a hypocrite? No. My actions are congruent with my beliefs. So what was it?

I decided after going back and forth in my mind…it was two things. I knew I was approaching the end of the year, and that scared me…what then? And secondly, I still have a really soft shell from the past and hurtful words do still affect me and freeze me up. I have grown, but I am still growing so some things take time.

So the solution? Well the time constraints are still here, and I am in my last two weeks of the initial goal. I have obviously failed in the initial goal of posting each week, but in doing no…and this has been a personal journey…and a great one..so there is no true pass or fail. I have learned so much in all of this and even…well maybe especially in these last few weeks I have learned the most. I have to decide how to continue this site since the goal will be up. I don’t want this site to die just because I reached my year goal. Instead I want it to evolve. So my goal now is to complete the next two weeks, finish my goal and decide how to evolve this site.

I faced my fears of words and opinions of others and am ready to move forward again.

Technorati Tags: kindness, random acts of kindness, mistakes, fears, goals, helping others, giving